Locais salvos de Phat

Phat Buoy: And, can I have the same, please? But with different shaped pasta. What do you call those pasta in bows? Like a bow-tie, but miniature? Like an action man bow-tie."

Phat Buoy: Ooh, that's a snazzy bouquet. Oh, this smells of, I don't know, basil. Sometimes you just want to say, sod all this wine, just give me a pint of mineral water

Phat Buoy: "Do you know what this bathroom says to me? Aqua. Which is French for water. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint. Which, again, to me is a bonus."

Phat Buoy: "Rolled on the thighs of a virgin."

Phat Buoy: Got my fungal foot powder? Ah, it's a lifesaver, you know. I'd effectively be disabled if it weren't for these

Phat Buoy: "Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine..."

Phat Buoy: "No not my face i'm doing a photo shoot tomorrow for Vision Express"

Phat Buoy: I've seen the big eared boys on farms

Phat Buoy: Fire, Fire, the fair's on fire!!

Phat Buoy: Ha ha ha ha ha. You've got to laugh when you fall off a sofa. Ruddy sofa!

Phat Buoy: I've got mental health issues.

Phat Buoy: Pretty poor Vue. Would go Odeon instead

Phat Buoy: Waitrose missed a trick here - all the posh BBC Execs will be creaming their jeans over Booths now on the Virgin Express back to Euston. North 1 South 0

Phat Buoy: Some good exhibitions. Someone ought to have taught this Lowry character how to draw something other than chimneys and stickmen

Phat Buoy: Free Entry. Excellent museum for all ages housed in a modern building with stunning architecture. Don't forget to check out the viewing platform. Good cafe

Phat Buoy: Building should've remained at its spiritual home in Preston. Terrible idea to stick in a city centre and waste Urbis on this. Disgrace.

Phat Buoy: Would not recommend watching a concert here. The sound and acoustics are always consistently awful beyond 50 meters from the stage

Phat Buoy: Absolutely love this venue for live music/gigs. Great gallery. Bring a hip flask as the bar prices are unjustifiable for the crap on offer

Phat Buoy: Solid gig venue. Great place to watch up and coming bands just before they go "stadium". Consistently average to good acoustics in unremarkable settings

Phat Buoy: This is where they put the smaller bands on. Can be wonderfully intimate - probably my favorite Academy venue. Red Stripe in cans a bonus

Phat Buoy: Seems to be the most "chatty" of the Academy venues. Quite a long room makes it difficult to judge best spot between the hardcore at the front and the scenesters chatting at the back.

Phat Buoy: Just a fantastic place for gigs and/or bottled beer

Phat Buoy: Fantastic live music venue full of character with an excellent sound system- watched so many hear gigs here

Phat Buoy: Possibly the best part of Manchester for cafes, bars and food

Phat Buoy: Only one thing to say - Christmas Markets!!! Go midweek in December to avoid the ridiculous crowds

Phat Buoy: Good market food here on occasions

Phat Buoy: Great to lace to relax at lunchtime. Check out the screenfiekds cinema listings for upcoming events at: http://www.skiddle.com/whats-on/Manchester/Screenfields/

Phat Buoy: Absolute dump. No redeeming features

Phat Buoy: The inhabitants here are better behaved than the locals

Phat Buoy: Sift through used condoms and McDonalds wrappers to get to the oily sand. Why not ride an ill-kept donkey too and contribute to animal abuse?