Matt Koster

"cougar hunt caffeination depot."

"Fernwood is the Chelsea of MPS soccer league. No one likes Chelsea."

"the people that shop here are massive. It's hysterical watching them push their carts around with Twinkie and toilet paper."

"Rub the Ginger trolls belly who works here and you might get a cookie or something."

"The Mayor and Ryan Braun get their herpes meds here; it's not who you know, but where you got it from."

"Have Darren make you a Von Griddle. It's a McParty in your mouth."