Alex Parrish

"The manager here is so rude. Rolled his eyes at me for asking a simple question"

"Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name. Oh yeah, and brunch. That too."

"It's a trap! Don't eat here! They round up all of the Californians and ship them out on busses! Oh, that's why they have APD out here..."

"They think I'm too drunk and stupid to realize this plate of "nachos" is just chips with a can of beans poured on top. But goddammit, I'm hungry."

"Do NOT get a pedicure here! The most painful experience of my life, I had to leave halfway through, it was not a happy birthday walking around with bleeding toes."

"You call that Italian? I call that toilet."