Christopher Morrison

"They know my drink order when I walk thru the door. I haven't ordered a drink in almost a year. I'm not an alcoholic it's tea. But if I was, this would be where the baby clothes money would be going."

"Ask about the butt sex"

"Mayor is another word for "small member" in this fiction world I've created."

"If your name's Matt... Your probably a douche and should change your name to something like Steve or Tom."

"Hope for Maddie. Tip her well. She deserves it."

"Military Discount. 10%"